Show Them, Don’t Tell Them

One of my clients in Calgary, Canada, said he wanted to tell everyone about the new program he started, but decided to wait. He had started other fitness programs before and failed. He decided to wait and show them his transformation rather than face ridicule if he didn’t get results. While I pride myself on helping clients get results, sometimes even I recommend clients don’t tell everyone. That advice is often reserved for people who have relationships that could prove toxic to results. Just do the work and don’t tell, but show them the results.

Sometimes sabotage sounds like concern.

In a recent study, it was found that over 75% of women who were trying to lose weight, most never received support from family or friends in their effort to do so. Sometimes, those closest to them sabotaged those efforts. It might be in the form of encouraging a high calorie food with words like, “It won’t hurt just this one time.” “Okay, then, I’ll cancel my dessert if you’re not going to have any.” And the best one of all, “You look fine. You don’t need to lose weight.” If that were true, we’d let our clients know that their efforts should be to tone up, rather than lose weight.

Changing the dynamics of a relationship might be threatening.

Whether you’re sharing your plans with close friends or with a loved one, it can actually threaten that person. If it’s a female friend, it might make them feel that you’ll be more attractive and if that’s been their place in the relationship, can upset the balance. It might make them feel inferior, especially if you succeed. If it’s a spouse or romantic partner, the partner may worry that you’ll start to look fabulous and leave them. By keeping your plans a secret and maintaining the same relationship, you’ll lose the weight or get into shape without threatening the relationship.

Telling people may actually cause your own personal sabotage.

In the article When Intentions Go Public, Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap, in Volume 20 number 5 of Psychological Science, found that by identifying and stating your goals to the public can bring the satisfaction of actually achieving them. That said, why does it work when you’re setting goals with a personal trainer? It’s because the trainer not only holds you accountable, but focuses on the path to reach your goal. You change your focus from the goal to achieving the daily effort that leads you to reach the goal. In other words, you reframe it. Instead of focusing on how great you are that you set a goal to reach a healthy weight, you focus on the steps it takes to reach that goal and we hold you accountable.

  • You do need people who support you. While I do offer personal training, many of my clients use my DVD programs. Start working out daily and then invite a friend to join you once it has become a habit. You’ll have a workout buddy that provides both support and motivation.
  • One reason that telling others about your weight loss efforts can backfire is that weight loss happens slowly. You don’t lose weight overnight, it takes months for many people to reach their goals.
  • Focus on the journey rather than the destination. Set your daily goal to consume healthy meals and do your daily workout, whether it’s part of the DVD or simply taking a walk. Track your progress both in process—your daily efforts—and pounds and inches.
  • The most important part of any fitness program is getting started. Check out some of the special value packs or just find one DVD and start on the road to a new you today.

For more information, contact today

Leave a Reply